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11 things I learned on my first gay cruise

June 18, 2024
12 min read
GABRIEL GOLDBERG/VACAYA
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You've probably heard of gay cruises and wondered how they differ from "traditional" cruises. Are they open to straight people? Is it all about partying? What about the hook-up element?

I sailed with tour operator Vacaya in February 2023 on a one-week gay cruise departing from Fort Lauderdale and heading to the Caribbean via Celebrity Cruises' Celebrity Reflection cruise ship. For context, I'm a white, cisgender, gay man in my mid-30s. I had a lot of questions about what to expect, given this was my second cruise ever and my first one with a queer tour operator.

Here are the top things I'd want someone considering or planning their first gay cruise to know.

People are friendly

The first thing that struck me about the sailing was that almost everyone was smiling and eager to interact. As an Australian living in the U.S. for almost a decade, I generally find Americans to be open, talkative and curious. This cruise was like that … on steroids.

two men standing by pool
GABRIEL GOLDBERG @HOLLYWOOD_BRUISERS/VACAYA

I would have found it overwhelming if I weren't an extrovert, but since I'm a social butterfly, I was in heaven.

Tip: Taking the stairs between levels on the ship is a great way to keep in shape. However, opt for the elevators if you are searching for moments of lighthearted connection. Waiting for an elevator to arrive at your floor and then jumping in with other guests gives you a quick opportunity for some enjoyable small talk.

Partying is front and center

The rumors are spot on. Gay cruises have tons of parties, sometimes multiple a day. If you're on a weeklong sailing, it's important to pace yourself.

Most of the parties on my cruise took place outside by the pool and started at 10:30 p.m. The late start gave enough time for passengers to eat dinner, attend an evening show and get dressed in theme.

Highlights on my cruise included a Super Bowl party (the day we boarded), a traffic light party (the gay cruise version of an icebreaker activity, see below) and the "She's A Mess" party on the final afternoon (where passengers donned one piece from each costume they'd worn throughout the week).

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large group of people on cruise deck
GABRIEL GOLDBERG @HOLLYWOOD_BRUISERS/VACAYA

It's also a good idea to plan your outfits well in advance — people get really into the party themes. You can find information about theme nights on your tour operator's website.

Related: The top gay cruises you don't want to miss

It's sex-positive

Going into the cruise, one of my biggest questions was, "Would people be hooking up all over the ship in public places?" On this particular Vacaya cruise, I did not see anything like that. (I can't speak for other sailings, though.) However, sexual expression was a prominent feature of the cruise — and I loved it.

I appreciated the three types of lanyards that Vacaya offered upon boarding. They were color-coded in a traffic light system: red for "taken," yellow for "it's complicated/maybe," and green for "available." This made it easy to understand what kind of interaction someone wanted. At the traffic light party on the second night, I estimated that 60% of the passengers were dressed in green, 30% in yellow and the remaining 10% in red.

One unique feature Vacaya had on this cruise was a late-night "dark room" on the rooftop basketball court. It was very popular.

The crew won't judge you

Cruise ships hire crew members from around the world, with many coming from more conservative countries. I wasn't sure how they'd react to thousands of openly gay men taking over their cruise ship.

Once on board, I realized my concerns were overblown. The Celebrity Cruises crew — waiters, room stewards, bartenders — were consistently friendly. I never sensed any judgment from them. They didn't even bat an eyelid when a drunk gay guy wearing nothing but underwear came to a bar to order a drink. I'm not saying I was that guy.

Choose your cruise carefully

The one major lesson I learned is that it's important to do your research.

On this cruise, I sometimes felt like a fish out of water. At 35, I was one of the youngest on the sailing. Vacaya skews older (think: Gen X and boomers), whereas I've heard Atlantis gay cruises attract mainly twinks and daddies.

DJ booth at cruise party
GABRIEL GOLDBERG @HOLLYWOOD_BRUISERS/VACAYA

Of the well-known queer cruises, Atlantis is for your circuity gays, and Olivia is for queer women. Vacaya skews toward a more inclusive and welcoming experience for everyone (although it needs more work in this area). Body positivity was an obvious component of my Vacaya cruise, and I heard many passengers say they appreciated this.

Related: These LGBTQ-focused travel companies can help you plan the perfect cruise

Gay cruise travel is a huge (and growing) market

Queer travelers account for 5% to 10% of the global tourism market, according to the World Tourism Organization. Couple that with the huge growth in cruising over the past decade (excluding the pandemic), and it's obvious that cruise and tour operators can earn a lot from catering to LGBTQI+ travelers.

For example, Fort Lauderdale saw four sold-out LGBTQI+ cruises in February 2023. Atlantis and Vacaya had one each, and tour operator Olivia had two women-focused cruises. Atlantis' voyage on Royal Caribbean's Harmony of the Seas was the largest gay cruise ever, with more than 5,400 passengers.

If you want to go on a gay cruise, I'd suggest booking early to secure your place and take advantage of early bird discounts. With growing demand, I hope to see an increase in the number and type of sailings offered, giving queer travelers more themed cruise options.

people on cruise ship deck
GABRIEL GOLDBERG @HOLLYWOOD_BRUISERS/VACAYA

Diversity and inclusion is a work in progress

In my opinion, the cruise was too heavily skewed to a specific demographic. I estimated that at least 90% of the passengers on my cruise were white, cisgender, gay men from the U.S. — and that was on Vacaya, one of the more "inclusive" cruise operators.

The organizers clearly have a strong passion for and commitment to making their experiences more inclusive and diverse. They teared up when talking about their origin story and what they envision for their future experiences.

However, it's a bit of a chicken-and-egg situation. Vacaya has a financial incentive to cater to its base market of white, affluent gay men. But, its future growth lies in providing opportunities that broaden the company's reach to other tribes in the larger community, such as queer people of color, transgender and gender-nonconforming folx, and women.

For Vacaya to achieve that goal, those groups must make bookings and come on board. However, they'll be hesitant to book if they don't think there will be people like them on board. It's a work in progress.

On my cruise, I did see a glimmer of Vacaya's future.

One evening, I sat behind a black trans woman and a plus-size, white cisgender woman in a wheelchair to watch a show in the ship's auditorium. When drag queen Alyssa Edwards began lip-syncing on stage to "This Is Me" from "The Greatest Showman," they reached out to hold hands as they sang along. These are the moments Vacaya hopes to deliver to more queer travelers in the future.

Gay cruises are more expensive than regular cruises

Gay or queer cruises cost more on average than your everyday cruise because they offer premium LGBTQI-focused entertainment, such as drag queens and world-renowned DJs on each sailing. The charter company (Vacaya, in this case) needs to pay not only the cruise line but also the specialized entertainment — and turn a profit.

Drag queen Alyssa Edwards on stage during a Vacaya cruise
Drag queen Alyssa Edwards performed a lip-sync and comedy show on our cruise. GABRIEL GOLDBERG @HOLLYWOOD_BRUISERS/VACAYA

Make sure you save up your cash for the room, taxes, gratuities, drink packages and shore excursions — it can really add up.

For example, Vacaya's pricing for its weeklong 2025 Caribbean cruise starts at around $3,200 per room for a windowless inside cabin (based on two people sharing; includes taxes and gratuities). That's nearly double the cost of a "regular" cruise for the same duration and on the same ship, where pricing for a cruise just a few weeks earlier than Vacaya's starts at $1,755.

Many people don't explore the ports

Based on my observations and conversations with other shipmates, I don't think many passengers got off the ship in every port. Perhaps that's because our itinerary featured four back-to-back port stops. Or, my shipmates were too hungover to go out or wanted to prioritize time on the ship they had paid so dearly for. Whatever the reason, many people were at the lunch buffet and lounging poolside during our port stops.

cruise ship docked

To be honest, I only got off at Grand Cayman and stayed on board in Cozumel, Mexico; Belize City, Belize; and Roatán, Honduras (all of which I'd visited on previous trips).

It turns out my observations were correct. The Vacaya cruise organizers confirmed that on big-ship Caribbean cruises, many guests typically stay on board in one or two ports. On the company's luxury cruises — which focus more on bucket-list destinations — and Mediterranean cruises, a higher percentage of guests get off the ship daily.

For the record, people who did get off the ship didn't miss much. People mostly used port days to enjoy more pool time and work out at the gym (which, surprisingly, never got busy on my cruise). Vacaya schedules its marquee activities for when the ship is sailing.

Wash your hands

The worst part of the cruise? I picked up norovirus about halfway through the sailing and was bedridden for the final three days.

Norovirus is a contagious virus that spreads through direct contact with an infected person or surface and causes diarrhea, vomiting, nausea and stomach pain. The self-contained, high-traffic nature of a cruise ship makes it susceptible to outbreaks, and on a gay cruise, frequent person-to-person contact can increase your chances of getting sick.

My most unpleasant memories from this cruise included gathering the energy to make my way from my cabin to the buffet to eat something, anything, that would fill me up before my whole world came crashing down again. Picture the wedding dress-fitting scene from "Bridesmaids." I was Kristen Wiig desperately trying to pretend she was enjoying her almonds — all in front of hundreds of other gay men. Not a peak life moment for me.

The best way to avoid catching norovirus is to wash and sanitize your hands frequently. I thought I was doing a good job of that, but apparently, it wasn't enough. This is a public service announcement to wash your hands more than you think you need to the next time you're on a cruise.

Many passengers come back time and again

people in costume on cruise
GABRIEL GOLDBERG @HOLLYWOOD_BRUISERS/VACAYA

Vacaya has a return rate of more than 70%, which is even more notable given it has only been around for six years. (My cruise was its fifth birthday celebration.) People talk with their feet — and their wallets. If they're returning, they must enjoy the experience and want to reconnect with friends and lovers they met on previous cruises.

If you enjoy your first cruise, it's worth keeping your eyes out for any early bird discounts for future sailings the line may offer during the final couple of days you are on board.

Bottom line

Feet on deck chair on cruise ship balcony
MATT MOFFITT/THE POINTS GUY

With LGBTQI+ rights under sustained attack, it was refreshing to get out into the open ocean with other queer folx and let our pride flags fly. The feeling of dancing in the warm Caribbean breeze with thousands of other queer people — and a supportive, open-minded crew — without fear of judgment, violence or harassment is something I believe every queer person deserves.

Planning a cruise? Start with these stories:

Featured image by GABRIEL GOLDBERG/VACAYA
Editorial disclaimer: Opinions expressed here are the author’s alone, not those of any bank, credit card issuer, airline or hotel chain, and have not been reviewed, approved or otherwise endorsed by any of these entities.

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  • Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on purchases at restaurants worldwide, on up to $50,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
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Rewards Rate

4XEarn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on purchases at restaurants worldwide, on up to $50,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
4XEarn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent at US supermarkets, on up to $25,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
3XEarn 3X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on flights booked directly with airlines or on AmexTravel.com.
2XEarn 2X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on prepaid hotels and other eligible purchases booked on AmexTravel.com.
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    You may be eligible for as high as 100,000 Membership Rewards® Points after spending $6,000 in eligible purchases on your new Card in your first 6 months of Membership. Welcome offers vary and you may not be eligible for an offer.

    As High As 100,000 points. Find Out Your Offer.
  • Annual Fee

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  • Recommended Credit
    Credit ranges are a variation of FICO® Score 8, one of many types of credit scores lenders may use when considering your credit card application.

    Excellent to Good

Why We Chose It

There’s a lot to love about the Amex Gold. It’s a fan favorite thanks to its fantastic bonus-earning rates at restaurants worldwide and at U.S. supermarkets. If you’re hitting the skies soon, you’ll also earn bonus Membership Rewards points on travel. Paired with up to $120 in Uber Cash annually (for U.S. Uber rides or Uber Eats orders, card must be added to Uber app and you can redeem with any Amex card), up to $120 in annual dining statement credits to be used with eligible partners, an up to $84 Dunkin’ credit each year at U.S. Dunkin Donuts and an up to $100 Resy credit annually, there’s no reason that foodies shouldn’t add the Amex Gold to their wallet. These benefits alone are worth more than $400, which offsets the $325 annual fee on the Amex Gold card. Enrollment is required for select benefits.

Pros

  • 4 points per dollar spent on dining at restaurants worldwide and U.S. supermarkets (on the first $50,000 in purchases per calendar year; then 1 point per dollar spent thereafter and $25,000 in purchases per calendar year; then 1 point per dollar spent thereafter, respectively)
  • 3 points per dollar spent on flights booked directly with the airline or with amextravel.com
  • Packed with credits foodies will enjoy
  • Solid welcome bonus

Cons

  • Not as useful for those living outside the U.S.
  • Some may have trouble using Uber and other dining credits
  • You may be eligible for as high as 100,000 Membership Rewards® Points after you spend $6,000 in eligible purchases on your new Card in your first 6 months of Card Membership. Welcome offers vary and you may not be eligible for an offer. Apply to know if you’re approved and find out your exact welcome offer amount – all with no credit score impact. If you’re approved and choose to accept the Card, your score may be impacted.
  • Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on purchases at restaurants worldwide, on up to $50,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
  • Earn 4X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent at US supermarkets, on up to $25,000 in purchases per calendar year, then 1X points for the rest of the year.
  • Earn 3X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on flights booked directly with airlines or on AmexTravel.com.
  • Earn 2X Membership Rewards® points per dollar spent on prepaid hotels and other eligible purchases booked on AmexTravel.com.
  • Earn 1X Membership Rewards® point per dollar spent on all other eligible purchases.
  • $120 Uber Cash on Gold: Add your Gold Card to your Uber account and get $10 in Uber Cash each month to use on orders and rides in the U.S. when you select an American Express Card for your transaction. That’s up to $120 Uber Cash annually. Plus, after using your Uber Cash, use your Card to earn 4X Membership Rewards® points for Uber Eats purchases made with restaurants or U.S. supermarkets. Point caps and terms apply.
  • $84 Dunkin' Credit: With the $84 Dunkin' Credit, you can earn up to $7 in monthly statement credits after you enroll and pay with the American Express® Gold Card at U.S. Dunkin' locations. Enrollment is required to receive this benefit.
  • $100 Resy Credit: Get up to $100 in statement credits each calendar year after you pay with the American Express® Gold Card to dine at U.S. Resy restaurants or make other eligible Resy purchases. That's up to $50 in statement credits semi-annually. Enrollment required.
  • $120 Dining Credit: Satisfy your cravings, sweet or savory, with the $120 Dining Credit. Earn up to $10 in statement credits monthly when you pay with the American Express® Gold Card at Grubhub, The Cheesecake Factory, Goldbelly, Wine.com, and Five Guys. Enrollment required.
  • Explore over 1,000 upscale hotels worldwide with The Hotel Collection and receive a $100 credit towards eligible charges* with every booking of two nights or more through AmexTravel.com. *Eligible charges vary by property.
  • No Foreign Transaction Fees.
  • Annual Fee is $325.
  • Terms Apply.